Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Wink of Hope

I'm fuming. I'm angry. I'm sad. Last night I had dinner with my uncle, Peter. Prior to dinner I was a bundle of nerves. I had finally apologized to him and his wife, multiple times, for my behavior and I was going to see his wife for the first time in seven months. His wife who also happens to also seven months pregnant. This is a miracle child. And I am so unbelievable excited for the birth of my baby boy cousin! Yet I fear I will never get to see him. Last night proves my fears could very well may come true. I spent ages picking out the right outfit and the entire walk to his house I psyched myself out. I reminded myself of how happy I've been recently and that everything will be okay. I knew we weren't going to have dinner with my uncle and his wife, he emailed me the night before to tell me she was having dinner with a colleague. After being at his house for about ten minutes I asked where she (his wife, Tresha) was. Peter told me she was getting ready upstairs. When Brendan arrived we stayed at the house for a few more minutes and then we just left. She never came down to say hi. Nothing.

The walk to dinner was so awkward. How is it that three people who use to live together and are biologically related could be so fucking socially awkward with each other?  But after awhile things seemed to get better. Halfway through dinner my uncle winked at me. I don't know why but for some reason it seemed to resonate with me. Could this wink be a glimmer of hope? Will this family be okay?

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